Strange Baby Dream

Last night I dreamt that when I gave birth to Helena, she had some illness that prevented me from being able to take her home. A few hours later the doctors brought me a clone of Helena that was no longer sick. She looked just like my little Helena, so I didn't think much about it and took her home. Well, I took "clone" baby to the doctor for a check-up one day and they took her to another room. As I walked around the hospital, I saw the NIC unit and went in.

I looked at all of the sick little babies and was so sad. Then, I saw my Helena laying there. She had horrible scratches and abrasions on her little face and arms and she was so skinny. She suddenly opened her eyes and looked right at me, and I knew she recognized me. Then she reached for me to pick her up and I was so scared and confused I ran out.

I began yelling at all of the doctors. "Why am I taking care of this baby you gave me?" "That is my baby in there!" "I should be feeding her and watching her!" (things to that effect) The doctors had nothing to say, but that I could only take care of the healthy baby. The sick baby would not live long, so it didn't make sense to waste the time. I was so upset I started to cry. One of those crys that is so strong it carries over into reality. I woke up sobbing and shaking, and for some reason felt guilty. I got up and picked Helena up out of her bassinet and held her. And she was absolutely perfect.